


Timber

by redradioflyer



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Clubbing, Drunken Flirting, M/M, Matt taking care of Drunk Alfred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 05:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17016816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redradioflyer/pseuds/redradioflyer
Summary: Matt is way too sober to to deal with the ridiculous, flirty drunk America, but well, at least he's cute right?A Matt-Alfred meet-cute in the club





	Timber

Matt isn’t really a club type person- too many flashing lights, too much noise and general drunken disruptive behavior for him to have very much fun. Sometimes, he goes anyways with a large group of friends, and they’ll shield him from the worst of it. Today, he is mostly here because his friend is tending the bar for the first time and wants ‘moral support.’ Only a handful of his friends could come, and so Matt had reluctantly agreed to be among the group.

Unenthused about the whole plan, Matt shows up in a flannel shirt with a hint of whiskey on his breath. He had to make sure his nerves were ready to deal with the surging crowd and the pounding music that comes with the club scene. Of course, he stops by the bar first- though it takes him time to push through to the front and make sure his friend sees him there. For a while, Matt ends up at the edge of the bar, drinking and bobbing along to the music. His friends had arrived already and were out on the dance floor.

Though he catches glimpses of them now and then, he doesn’t try to get to them. Matt isn’t super big on dancing- another reason he prefers bars to clubs probably. Just as he’s considering ending his night and heading home, he feels a tug at his sleeve. When he looks down, Matt is met with the prettiest, happiest baby blue eyes he’s ever seen in his life.

“Goddamn,” the man says. “You’re gorgeous.”

Just a few inches shorter than him, the man is a clearly drunk already. He has messy dirty blond hair and wide wire frame glasses. There’s a bit of a sway to him that says he’s standing still only out of necessity and that he’d really rather dance.

It takes a moment for Matt to find his voice.

“Uhhhh, thanks…”

“S’like, you’re a sexy lumberjack, or whatever, you know? Big’n manly and a little bit stubbly.” The man smiles brightly at him. “It’s kinda awesome.”

Matt definitely doesn’t know what to say to this, though he turns rather a deep red. He arches a brow at this happy strange man clearly trying to ‘pick him up.’ ‘Lumberjack’ is such a Canadian stereotype, but he’s pretty sure that the guy in front of him is just making a comment on the flannel.

“So, so,” the man continues when Matt doesn’t respond. “I’m Alfred. What’s your name? Ya wanna dance with me?” Then the man flashes what can only be described as a super hero smile, and he offers him his hand. Matt doesn’t respond at first, sizing Alfred up. Despite his frankness, the guy seems rather bright eyed and innocent, and the smile is certainly convincing.

“My name’s Matt, but I don’t dance,” Matt says eventually as he slips his fingers into Alfred’s. “You’ll be disappointed.”

“Naw,” Alfred says back as he tugs him forward. “I can’t dance either. Just like to sometimes.”

Then he can’t really hear Alfred anymore because the other has dragged him into the crowd. There is only the pulsing of the music, and the indistinct words of Alfred attempting (and failing) to talk over it. Then the music changes to some new bit of pounding remixed pop song, and Alfred is pressing back against him. He looks up at him over his shoulder, and he mouths the words “Move with me~” before he starts to grind against him in a very forward way.

Matt, though a bit overwhelmed, takes hold of his hips and starts to control the movement a bit more. As much as Alfred’s bright baby blues had pleased him, the man is still drunk and not quite the most coordinated. Matt has pulled him close and is trying to help orient him a little better. 

It’s surprisingly nice at first, having this eager happy man in his arms. They move together, and Alfred keeps sending these terrible ‘come hither’ looks over his shoulder. Finally, he turns in his arms to dance face to face, and he continues to give him ‘sexy’ looks. As ridiculous as these expressions are, Matt finds them incredibly adorable, and before the song is out, he’s already happy to agree to continue dancing.

Alfred, however, has a problem. He makes a face and says… something.

“Hmm?” Matt leans down to put his ear near Alfred’s mouth.

“…the DJ. Bet he’d play it if I asked…!”

“What?”

“C’mon, yeah? Let’s try!”

Matt has very little idea what the adorable drunkard wants to hear, but he lets himself be lead around. If this were anyone else, perhaps, Matt would be uncooperative- or at the very least irritated. But Alfred is an endearing drunk, and he’s so very excited about life that Matt lets himself get caught up in it.

When they get to the DJ booth, Matt can’t really hear very well as Alfred steps up and talks to the DJ. Alfred keeps gesturing back at Matt though, and the DJ finds whatever Alfred is saying rather funny.

As the last song ends, the DJ says over the mic, “This is for Alfred and his new sexy lumberjack friend.” The DJ laughs, and the first few pieces of  _Timber_  start up.

“Alfred!” Matt says, giving him a wholly unimpressed expression. “What the hell…?” He’s starting to smile a little though. This is perhaps the dumbest thing anyone has ever done while trying to flirt with him, but the bright gleam of success in Alfred’s eyes has him laughing.

“S’best song for dancing with a sexy lumberjack, yeah?” Alfred says against his ear. 

“You’re an idiot,” Matt says back, but he’s grabbing the shorter man close.

Before the song is over, Alfred has stolen several very unchaste kisses, and Matt can’t find a reason not to steal a few more. After several more songs, Alfred gets thirsty and tugs at his collar, giving him another one of those silly “come hither” looks. 

“Lemme buy you a drink! Please~”

But Matt is already being dragged to the bar. When Tommy comes over to get their orders, he’s grinning like anything.

“See you made a friend there, Matt,” he says as Alfred orders not just a drink for them both but also a shot of tequila each.

“The tequila,” Tommy says. “Is my treat, golden boy. Just treat lil Matt here real nice, k?”

Matt is glowering, but Alfred beams at him.

“Oh that’s no problem.~”

“Just do your shot, kid,” Matt grumbles before downing his tequila. “Let’s go over there and sit down for a minute and drink yeah?”

Matt finds a chair, but instead of sitting next to him, Alfred sits right in his lap. Matt almost pushes him out into the floor because… well, a lap full of drunk man wasn’t quite what he was looking for. 

But then Alfred leans in to murmur thank you and to kiss his cheek rather sweetly, and then all his irritation is gone. Perhaps that’s Alfred’s drunk super power- somehow being endearing and a shithead at the same time.

As he drinks, Alfred babbles at him. Matt finds it strange, because it’s not all about the music or flirting. Alfred also off-handedly makes comments about the tech in the room, or about the riggings on the lights. Once he starts to try and drunkenly explain to a mathematical principle before getting distracted by a song he likes.

“Hey let’s dance again!” Alfred says as he drains the rest of his drink. “Please? ‘m pretty sure my friends ditched me. I need a partner!”

Now, honestly, Matt doesn’t actually want to dance anymore. He would actually rather stay in his seat and let his new drunk friend go back to explaining math.  _That_ had been funny after all- all the slurring and half thoughts that didn’t get fully fleshed out. More than funny even-- Matt finds his drunken math rambles incredibly cute.

But he also sees the vultures circling. Men who are on the lookout for someone drunk enough to take home without a fuss. Matt had seen more than enough looks thrown Alfred’s way to be worried about the sweet man in his lap. None of them had quite been sure enough to approach- probably thinking Matt is his boyfriend. So he’d play up that scary rough lumberjack boyfriend thing if it meant that Alfred isn’t taken advantage of by some creep.

“Fine, but after that, we’re leaving yeah?”

The words are meant to be sobering- drinking time is over, kind of thing. Especially if Alfred’s friends had left already. Matt would make sure this little ball of sunshine made it home safe.

“Oh of course,” Alfred says, a very naughty gleam in his eyes. “Let’s go back to my place.”

Matt’s cheeks go bright red, and he tries to backtrack, to let the other know that he’s much too sober to do anything with him besides kissing right now.

Alfred isn’t listening. He just drags Matt out to the dance floor and shows him exactly what kind of things he’s thinking about for once he gets back home. Matt is well kissed and rather aroused by the time they make it out to the sidewalk.  

“I’ll call a cab, yeah,” Matt says as Alfred snuggles in close against his chest.

“Thanks~” he says, laughing softly. “A very useful, sexy lumberjack.”

For a second Alfred closes his eyes and breathes in, and Matt blushes as he realizes that Alfred is sniffing him.  Alfred looks so sleepy and well pleased with him though, nuzzling his face against his chest that way. Matt can feel his face heating up.

Thankfully before Matt can feel too self-conscious, Alfred opens his eyes again.

“There’s a McDonald’s round the corner. Can we stop there???”

“I’ll tell the cab to meet us there,” Matt says as he lets Alfred pull him down the sidewalk.  

He gets a taxi called- luckily one is already close by. They have just gotten their order when they see it pull up. As they settle in, Alfred gives the man his address, leaving Matt little room to interject. Then Alfred tries to pull his food out and almost gets a lap full of French fries. Matt gets distracted helping his new friend with his food.

—

By the time that they make it to his apartment, Alfred is only slightly more sober than before. He’s still clearly drunk, but getting food in him helped. Too bad that doesn’t make him any less flirtatious. As soon as his food is gone, all of Alfred’s rather intense focus is back on him. He’s trying to steal kisses as they wait for the elevator, but luckily, Matt is amused instead of annoyed.  

“No no,” he says softly. “We’re not in the club anymore, Alfred.”

Alfred pouts up at him. “Awwww but I can’t remember what you taste like. Cause of the French fries, ya know.”

“Well,” Matt tells him. “You’ll need to brush your teeth first. Then maybe I’ll give you a goodnight kiss to remind you.”

Alfred smiles up at him and nods, tone suggestive. “Ohhhh a _goodnight kiss~”_

But the elevator comes before Alfred can say much more on that subject, and they get to his floor without incident. They stand at the door for a long moment as Alfred fumbles with the lock to get in. The apartment is small but well furnished. There’s a bookshelf, and Matt is amused at how many books on engineering there are. So that’s why his little ‘date’ for the night was rambling drunkenly about numbers.

“Kisses now~?” Alfred says as he flings himself onto an old but rather comfortable couch in the middle of the room. “This is the part where the smokey eyed stranger ravages me right?”

Matt sputters in surprise at his choice of wording and he comes over to pinch Alfred’s nose. “This isn’t a smutty romance novel. This is the part you go and brush your teeth!”

Alfred pushes at his hands and laughs delightedly. He doesn’t seem the least bit bothered by the rebuff, and Matt realizes that though the other is honestly flirting that he’s also drunk enough not to take much of it personally.

“Fine fine, teeth first, then kissing.”

Honestly Matt is just hoping to get Alfred clean and in bed before the man passes out. Matt can tell that he’s going to run out of that drunken energy soon, and he is hoping to have him in bed ready for sleep before then.

“Yeah, just go brush your teeth, kid.”

So Alfred does. He brushes his teeth and heads towards his bedroom. Matt follows him and urges him to lie down.

“There now,” Matt says with a smile as he gets Alfred snuggled in beneath his blankets. “All settled.”

“No!” Alfred says. “You said I’d get a kiss if I listened.”

Matt flushes. “Right right.”

He leans down to kiss him sweetly and quickly, but Alfred complains louder.

“What a lie, that was barely anything! I want a real one!”

Though he can feel his patience wearing a little thin, Matt sighs. “Alright, I’ll give you a real one, but then you’ll go to sleep right?”

“Yeah, whatever, sure,” Alfred says. “Just hurry up big guy~”

Matt rolls his eyes and smiles down at him. He pins down Alfred’s wrists to keep the drunkard from latching onto him and holding him there. Then, he leans in and kisses Alfred breathless. When he pulls back, Alfred chases his lips.

After a moment, Alfred tries to pull him into bed. “Stay~”

“Alfred… I should head home,” Matt says. 

“C’mon it’s late. I have pillows and blankets and stuff. Plenty to share.” There’s a hopeful look in his eyes. “No funny business k? Just sleep~”

Matt can’t help but soften. It is almost 3 am, and he’s pretty exhausted.

“Alright, alright. I’ll stay.”

“Good,” Alfred says as he settles back in against his pillow. Then he grins in that lecherous drunken way that Matt is getting used to. “Since you’re a lumberjack, I bet you know your way around morning wood huh??”

The sheer idiocy of a come-on like that floors him, and Matt finds himself laughing- louder and more earnestly than he has in a long time. He takes a pillow and hits Alfred with it. Alfred just laughs with him and manages to somehow make the whole moment seem lighthearted despite how weird and awkward it probably should be. 

“Just go to sleep, you asshole,” Matt says. He pulls back and moves to grab those extra blankets and pillows to make himself a nice little spot on the floor to sleep. Although he’s sure that Alfred wants him in bed with him, Matt knows that when the other wakes up he might not. Besides, he’s also pretty sure that if he’s too close to him that Alfred’s mind will be on things  _other_ than sleep.

After a bit of complaining when the lights go off, Alfred soon falls asleep, and Matt isn’t far behind.

—

Alfred wakes up with a pretty intense headache. His ‘friends’ had urged him to drink too much too early, because ‘you’re a funny drunk.’ He really needs to figure out what happened last night, but he's going to get some medicine or something first. It’s hard to think with this headache. He moves to put his feet down on the floor, and then he freezes.

He isn’t nearly as alone as he thought. An  _extremely_ attractive man is sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Okay, so Alfred  _definitely_ remembers him. Lovely eyes, an intimidating expression, and a jaw like that Alfred dizzily imagined kissing the night before. Exactly Alfred’s type.  

“Fuck,” Alfred says, too surprised to censor himself. He reaches down, finding that he is actually still wearing clothes. “Jeez, how the hell’d you get me to keep my clothes on?!”

Matt looks up at him finally, and he smirks at him. “It was a bit hard, but I managed.”

Alfred is bright red now, and he falls back into his pillows. Images of the night before are flashing through his head, and while he doesn’t remember everything, he remembers enough to be embarrassed. He groans rather loudly. “God you must think I’m an idiot,” he says, ears and neck just as red as his face is. “Fuck I dragged you home, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not a problem,” Matt says in a quiet deep voice.

Alfred  _really_ likes that voice, and it makes him shiver just a bit. “Still…” He finally sits back up, when his blush starts to dissipate a bit. “At least let me make you breakfast. Least I can do ya know?”

Then there’s a naughty gleam in his guest’s eyes.  “You don’t have any ‘morning wood’ for this ‘lumberjack’ to take care of then?”

Alfred’s face is red again and he sputters so badly he can’t even get out any words. “I just… I mean… fuck…”

“Don’t you remember what you said?” Matt asks, looking as innocent as he can.

“No! No I don’t!” Alfred says, voice a little too loud in his embarrassment. His face must show how scandalized he is by his own actions, because finally Matt laughs. This only embarrasses Alfred more. “So, uh, please don’t remind me!!”

With Matt smirking at him that way, Alfred decides to flee to his kitchen. Despite Alfred’s own embarrassment and shame, Matt doesn’t seem to dislike him. In fact, the man rather seems to enjoy his company. They have rather nice conversation over breakfast, and Matt compliments him on the pancakes. Matt makes sure they exchange numbers and emails, and he even stays to help him clean up the dishes.

As he’s about to leave, Matt even leans in and steals a lingering kiss so sweet that Alfred’s toes curl. Before the week is out, Alfred has an actual, real date with one of the hottest men he’s ever seen, and he works pretty hard to make a better impression.

Even still, Matt makes lumberjack jokes pretty often just to see him blush. 


End file.
